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Taller than most. Louder than most.

More layers to my personality than an onion, peel me and I could make you cry.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

I've had a load of positive feedback from readers of this new blog since the post featuring Carla, the self appointed Queen of the Broadway. Doesn't look like any of them have been brave enough to actually put a comment on here though he he.

Met another contender for the crown of the town last night at Leos. If you haven't played Leo's cash game in Liverpool, well, what can I say. It has its regulars, a couple of whom have been there since year dot like Trevor and Ted, then you get the faces who play every week for a few months then go broke, or get shot or something. These are the people you need to play against on a regular basis if you want to make some serious dough. But only if you don't mind your money caked in coke.

I can't play cash at Leos. The game that gets me paid at Manchester and Blackpool simply doesn't work here, my only consolation is I know I'm not alone. However, I have a lot of fun there: the old school guys taught me to play at the now defunct West Derby Grosvenor, and they are on the whole genuinely good guys - if a little misguided :)

There used to be rumours that if you won at the gravel pit as it was affectionately known, and weren't a regular, you would be relieved of your winnings before you got to your car. This is so untrue. They used to actually follow you home and take your cash AND your car on your doorstep.

Anyway I sat down at cash last night, played two hands and left as the bf had just gone out of the tourny so we decided to call it a night.
first hand I played, UTG I raised the pot with 67 spades. As you do. (I need to point out here that at Leos standard play is to pot with any pr, any suited connectors and any ace. It's also standard play to straddle in any position, often resulting in a straddle of up to £200 before a card is dealt. ) mid position guy reraised called by 3 more guys and back round to me who flat called. flop 899 two spades - happy xmas. BB checked I bet the pot, knowing if I don't the raiser will and I'll have to call - I'd rather bet my flush/straight draw and have him call or possibly fold to take down what's in the middle. He reraises which puts me all in for not much more and a spade comes on the river. Nice hand.

Now we've got a new Neanderthal at the opposite end of the table who seems to be very good mates with the guy cryin over his busted Aces. I think when they are at the gym they probably spend a lot of time flicking each other with towels in the shower.
Apeman is looking at me as if I've just got up and shown him I have a penis under my skirt. Kind of disgust with a little gleam of fascination there.

He starts to make a few little comments to his mate, I'm really not interested as I don't know him and in all honesty he looks dangerous in a thick kind of way, so I stay quiet. He's not a great player but he has a wad of bent money in front of him so I know he's coming to the river with me whatever I do, so I know it's gonna have to be good to beat him.

I'm on the BB and of course he raises the pot, everyone calls giving me much more than 5:1 for my money so I call blind. Flop 972 I look at my cards and find 97s. I can't decide what to do here. I know he's gonna reraise me and I definitely don't want to scare him off with a pot bet if he has nothing, so I bet around half the pot looking him right in the eye. (The normal one, not the eye that looks over to the left somewhere) Then the plan goes a bit tits up when the guy next to me goes all in for about another £40 more, folds round to Apeman who squints at me and pots it again. I'm not scared by this as I know I am ahead, my only worry is if he has a big pair (unlikely with all those steriods) that the board may pair and it's goodnight vienna to my stack. I decide to hollywood it a bit,partly cos I can and partly cos I want to know if he has a pair of just a drawing hand.

So I'm giving it the chat - "I know I'm ahead" etc, and he's telling me I'm not while his eyes are saying I am. So I say "I really do think at this stage I'm ahead, unless of course you've flopped a set - have you got a set" Brainiac immediately says "no" , then quickly says "No you're not ahead" nice swerve. So I say "ok I know you have an overpair, maybe Jacks again, as you couldn't lay them down before to Kings, I call" They guy inbetween pipes up, what about me I might have flopped a set, so I politely point out his small side pot and tell him to shut the fuck up while the serious dosh goes in the middle.

Billybigballs turns over his Jacks (nice read Caroline ) while side pot man throws K9 into the middle. As I thought I'm ahead so the pot of over £400 still has my name on it.

Turn is a K, side pot man has a quick orgasm while Apeman is turning a dull shade of red with anger.

River is a... King. Suddenly he has kings and jacks, while I have kings and.. nines. with a sad little kicker. Apeman is still angry as he hasn't worked out he won, the dealer tells him how and he starts to insult me with eloquence and grace, telling me I wasn't ahead ha ha and how the best hand always wins. I'm ok with it - I know I made a good call in the circumstances, I read his hand correctly but I was outdrawn. I also know there's no point telling him as he won't get any of that. As we leave Apeman turns to me as we walked past and says "your fella wants to put you straight for throwing away his money like that." My fella looks at him and replies "If she hadn't had made that call then I'd put her straight. That was a no fold any day of the week " Thanks babe mwah but it does piss me off that they always assume you are playing with your fella's hard earned dosh. Makes me want to go and throw myself under a racehorse while chained to railings with my bra on fire.

Note to self: If you try and outdraw a donkey be prepared to take consequences.

Off on my hols in the early hours so unlikely to be online till next thursday night. Leave a comment if you read this. Apeman is waiting for the picture version so no worries of any comeback there :)


  1. Billybigballs, apeman, bra on fire..... fuck me what a thought process to deal with when making a call for all ur dosh. I'll say it again, good call biatch. xx

    p.s I wish I was the one winnig all the money lol

  2. Have a good holiday and leave the donkey's on the beach alone, we all need to feed off them every now and then when they're not getting lucky. Good luck in Ireland colin and see you both soon. Steve

  3. Have a great time hun - make sure you let us know how you get on. Chris x

  4. I'd have gone for princess myself, but seeing as you've held a coronation in my honour, I'll humbly accept!

    Have a good holiday!

  5. Very unlucky outdraw hun...and yes he was stupid he didn't even know you were ahead...what a dork!!! Have a great holiday

  6. Thanks for your comments on my blog, I've linked across to this one. Very entertaining read!