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Taller than most. Louder than most.

More layers to my personality than an onion, peel me and I could make you cry.



Friday, October 09, 2009

Biatch is back mofos

I'm allowed access all areas again! Not sure what went wrong but i'm not getting bounced off blogger anymore - I think my limited access was directionally proportional to how badly I was playing. Actually, having donked off plenty last night, perhaps it was inversely proportional?
Either way, the biatch is back.

Nice write up from Steve Holden, following a road trip to Spain hopefully the link should be here http://steveholdenpoker.blogspot.com/ Scroll down to October 4th and enjoy :(

In my defence, I didn't drink 80% of the wine. It was probably only about 76%. Try and keep to the facts Steve please.

So - updates? Online poker is not for me. Admittedly Ive known this for a long time but it took a while to stick the hand in the air and say "My name is caroline and I am a donk online". Done abou $10k on OH (wtf?!) and worked out since january I've won about 18k live yet I'm about 2k up. That's scary.

Live is laughing! Had a few nice results in decent comps but mainly raking it in from cash games. Problem with this is I have lost all elements of tourny play, so patience levels are totally non existent. I've won two seats recently, one for a side event at the RPO festival at the end of the month in Liverpool, and one for the Blackpool leg of the GUKPT so really need to get my head round playing them.

The GUKPT satellite was a beauty. $50 RB Blue Sq - no rebuy (wtf?!) and I owned my table from the first hand. The gobshite was in full effect as I verbally destroyed every one of them without having to go to showdown for the first 90 minutes. Which was lucky as in most instances all I had was my mouth. Railbirds were all over the place - my FB was battered with abuse and plenty of lols afterwards.

Noticed one guy seemed pretty busy, loads of check raising (yawn) and 3 betting (whatever that is) so decided to try raising his BB with 47h to check out his response for when I did eventually get a hand. Raised in early position (yeah I know) folded round to him, he called - not a shock. Flop was K high, all spades, but I had made a pair with my 4. He checked, I bet. He min raised, I flat called. He checked turn (previously anyone who then bet turn got put all in by him) I checked. River another spade. He sat for ever then bet pot. Rightly or wrongly his play said to me he has not got the nuts - every time he had anything he wanted paying, so the bets were small, the steals were pot sized. So, I reraised him - he passed. I showed my 47 of hearts.

Cue - lols from table. Cue - abuse from BB player along the lines of "you think you're clever, you'll get caught soon enough. I can wait" So I gave it right back to him, along the lines of you'll be waiting a long time to get clever enough to beat me, and i may have mentioned to him that I deliberately raised his BB to see what he did as I had noticed he seemed to be a busy chap.

I then got this classic line - Do you know who I am?

Well - in short - No.

I didn't ask him to clarify but he felt the need to go ahead and tell me anyway - I am David La Ronde - remember that name.

I 'll be honest here and admit I did do a little wee.

After I stopped laughing I remembered I had played him at Manchester GUKPT and watched him donk off his monster stack in about 3 hands to players who had got his number. So I kept pressing his buttons, giving it loads about how I remembered him already as his wasn't the kind of face you forget in a hurry etc, and the bigger they are the harder they fall etc.

So a couple of hands later I have AA in BB (mbn to run so good hey) and of course I start giving it out to him to leave my blind alone, it's not big and it's not clever to steal etc. Of course he raises so I sit on and eventually min raise him back fully expecting him to push all in. Bear in mind at this point me and him are the only players with chips - I have him covered.

Davey boy doesn't let me down - he goes allin with his rag ace and I'm ashamed to admit I fully hollywooded it and let the clock wind right down then called. Bye bye David La Ronde and thanks for all the fish. Remember my name. PMSL.

Don't think I needed to play a hand after that, but I did :) Ended up heads up with me and Dara, flopped trips and bet out, he didnt believe me (o but why Dara?!) and called, I banged it in on turn, he called, I won.

If I can play like that in the actual event I will win it. Unfortunately I will also get my head kicked in outside by ppl like Davey boy, Barry Neville and Mick McCool. Heavy weights in every way. Still, I can mop up my tears with the money so probably not altogether a bad result.

Aah it's good to be back.

Monday, March 30, 2009

I'm back!!

I'm back - I hope! I seem to be able to sign in now and after pressing the magic "publish post" button, I will hopefully be able to see my own post.
Let's give it a try..... If it works I'llpost a proper update tomorrow

Thursday, March 12, 2009

arse about face

well I haven't been able to sign into my own blog for a week.
No idea why - when I open the page it tells me it's aborted - maybe that's Blogger's opinion of my blog but I like it and I'm sticking with it, so needed to find a way round it...
Success - Found Steve Holden's blog and signed in from there - arse aboutface way of doing things but where there's a will there's a relative or something.

Pure poker shortage at the moment for me due to work - we signed a lease 2 weeks ago today at the same time the other local pub decided to close for a refit for 2 weeks - I don't think I've slept more than 4 hours each night since we've been that busy. No complaints obviously other than I'm desperately needing a foot transplant.

So you all know my internet situation - practically non existent on a shitty dongle, so no internet play other than a week last monday - I popped over to Southport at about midnight on the sunday night to partake in the cash game - dreadful game but needs musts when the devil drives. Stayed there till 5.30 am, got home near to 6 and had to be up at 7am for daughter and school run etc, so decided it was pointless going to bed. Sleep is for sleepy people! Had a dabble on betfred, did the school bit came back and played some ridiculous 2 dollar rebuy, no rebuys (!!!) one addon and came second for about 500 quid - happy days. Tuesday night or possibly weds (the days went a bit blurry after sleep deprivation) I played an evening deepstack, and came 7th for a few more hundred. However, that's pretty much it for the internet, and live play hasn't been possible other than the pub game here, which I bashed last night, won both games and was up £150.

anyway I'm gonna post this and see if it actually lets me. please comment just to let m eknow that other ppl can actually access the blog!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

2nd day.. no good

Have to say I played very weakly on the second day. Whether i was tired (severe lack of sleep) or whether I got too complacent with the long clock (1 hour) I don't know but I played very poorly. Basically let myself get blinded away which seems a shame after the hard work I put in teh day before. There were a few on my table with less chips than me which led to a lot of pushing, from them, leading in turn to no opportunity for me to push when I needed to. I can't say my cards were any good wither, the only pics I saw was kq in the BB after a raise then a reraise allin, which the original raiser had commited themselves to call by leaving less than half their stack behind, so I folded but on reflection I probably would have been better calling for the size of the pot, the fact my BB was in, and I only had about another 12 BB. As it turned out I would have hit 2 pr and won the pot, beating JJ and AJ.

Ah well, I guess I'll know better next time. Played like a fish in the cash games as well, so really not a great weekend financially for me. We did get £500 each from the team event though: on the first day we were leading the points with the Castle team, Doublebubble Rick, Ky and Thumper, all of whom we know so we decided instead of a grand each, we;d split between the two teams. As it turned out, our team came second so definietly a wise decision!

Had a nice compliment on AWOP, The Chaser commented I had played well on the first day - it's nice to see someone whose game you respect saying that on a forum for everyone else to see - I'm just glad he didn't comment on the second day...

On a non-poker topic, we may be buying the lease on the pub ourselves. The opportunity came up a while ago, but in this day and age we needed to know it was a viable proposition, which we do think it is after 3 months running it. So, cross your fingers, we're moving into further discussions this week and will know more shortly.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

sooo photogenic...




Ido not take a good picture.













Day one over and I'm still in thanks to a mad scandie

Well the Liverpool Winter Festival didn't get off to the most auspicious start when I touched up Allan the organiser by mistake.



As I was walking across the card room he came over to greet me and I put out my hand while still going toward him. He leant in to kiss me while also going forward which resulted in my outstretched hand making firm contact with his lower stomach/belt region. Of course instead of taking the easy option and pulling my hand away, I inanely attempted to still find his hand by the power of touch alone, which resulted in me basically rubbing his belly.



I then sat alone in the loo for about 10 minutes cringing with shame waves. Once the blush had subsided to a dull red as a pose to the full on fire engine face I came back out and got on with the task in hand: the poker that is, not Allan's nether regions.



I stayed on the same table all night, which obviously was good as I knew how everyone was playing after a while, but it was a very slow table - full on amatuer dramatics from all the scandies when back raised allin resulted in the clock being called more times than I've ever seen in a tourny. I had Ash Hussein on my left which suited me fine as I had him laughing too much to ever get busy. On my right was a 6foot chinless wonder scandie called Odd (wtf?) who was chip leader pretty much throughout the night (think he was 2nd in chips when they did the count at the end) Apparently he is a notable cash player online but he only served to cement my theory that most online cash players have no social skills or personality whatsoever.



Mark the Chaser from AWOP was three seats away from me, plus Fred the fish from the circus, a couple of young scandies and a bipolar young ginga called Brett Angel who tried to have an attitude but didn't really have the balls for it. Paul Marrow soon put him straight and he shut up for a while.



My own game was very up and down, despite telling myself I wasn't gettin involved the table was so slow and pretty passive early on so it was all too easy to limp in with cards that could get you in a whole world of hurt. First lot of chips really never got going and ended up allin on the last hand before the break. Came back to my second lot, which although was actually 50 BB I played with a short stack mentality which kept me pretty solid. Didn't see many cards, had QQ twice (lost won one won) and AK (no pay) and that was it! Ended up stealing a fair bit which was really good for my confidence as I have never bluffed so much and got away with it. crept up from 6k to 10k purely playing flops and players in the hand without a card. Caught a set with 77 and got paid off nicely, but other than that no decent pots won until towards the end.

Table had got busier and blinds had gone up, on my BB, to 500 and 1k. cut off raised weak, the SB then reraised. I know this Odd guy (name really suits him :) is capable of reraising there with K9 or q10, as he does like his pictures, but I had also clocked, once he calls a reraise he didn't pass. Yes he had the chips to call but he was making some frighteningly bad calls on a flop where he really should have folded. So I had A10 off and pushed my 10BB in the middle. The cutoff passed and Odd called the remaining 5k. Before we turned the cards over everyone thought I had AA with the reraise but as I said at the time, I felt the cutoff was tring to steal and I know Od'd's reraising range is quite wide ie any two pictures and genuinely felt I was ahead. I was, my A10 held up against his KQ and i was doubled up.

Time's ticking on with 12 minutes to go before end of play and I had to make a decision - return tomorrow when the blinds start at 1200 with a short stack or try and double up or bust. Never the shrinking violet I decided I would get busy as my passive table seemed happy to sit on their chips to the end. Odd raised on button I called in SB with A7s, flop came 8 hgh all rubbish he bet 3k into a 9k pot. I know his weak bet means he's weak, he's played the same all night but I'm not sure he'll fold if I put myself allin. Faint heart ne'er won fair lady or something so I banged my 15k in and started to hyperventilate. Odd sat on for ever and ever by which stage my heart rate is off the Richter scale and I'm ready to smash big Jimmy Morgan in the gob as he's commentating away "You can't call that - look he's folding, just fold fella, he's not calling etc" I know the one thing gauranteed to make him call is Jimmy!

He calls me with.. K6. My heart had sank when he said call, and I said, good call, you have me I'm ace high. Then I looked back at the flop to see what he'd hit and couldn't work out what he had called with as there was no K, no 6 and no draw for him? Last 2 cards were dealt and Jimmy said "oo that's brutal, unlucky Caroline". I'm looking at the flop and saying "What's he hit what's he hit?" cos I can't see anything. Thought I was going mental but it turned out Jimmy had misread his cards and thought Odd had hit a flush, but no, my Ace high took the pot! It was a baffling call as he could only hope to be beating K5... I'm not complaining obviously, as he doubled me up, but it didn't win him any brownie points and made me a marked woman as he took the hump, mainly cos I was thanking him profusely he he.

I was up to 40k then lost 10 on the next hand (which was the last hand) when I limped UTG with kqs, knowing Odd will pay me off in his BB if i hit. The SB made up his blind to 1k, Odd checked, flop comes k high, no draw. SB bets 3k? Odd calls, which isn't a suprise, I'm confident that even if the SB has a King, my Q kicker is better than his kicker so I reraise up to 10k. The SB hasn't been at the table too long but when he has a hand it shows in his confidence levels and whole demeanour. I'm expecting him to fold, but he sits back like the cat who has the cream - on his nuts - and pushes all in after a bit of chat. Odd folds, I look at the flop - K 3 8 - and just knew I was behind. I put him on 2 pair on a SB special and folded my cards face up. Everyone seemed shocked at the fold, as if I was ahead, till he turned over.. AK. I had his hand wrong admiteddly, but my fold was right :) I was indeed behind! Even though it took me down to 30k I still have more chips to go back with today than I had all day yesterday, and if I couldn't have folded that KQ I wouldn't be going back at all.
See you later - wish me luck!

Monday, February 02, 2009

interview with 10kings poker

10Kings poker interviewed me for the Winter Festival this weekend, should be on this link here

Friday, January 30, 2009

comments?...

I know there's people out there.... but only a few of you leave a comment. If you take the time to read this could you please pass on a few words? I don't mind whether they're nice or not! A couple of people have messaged me on facebook talking about stuff on here, which is fine but a word on here would be more than welcome!

I'm a bit hyped at the moment waiting for next week's Winter Festival at the Circus - it's now a ranking event so to cash would make it three out of three, plus more points to take me up to about 1,987394 or something..

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Won my seat for te main event in the Winter Festival

Played the £30+£30 satellite at the Circus last night, for the main event in next week's Winter Festival and won one of the 4 seats up for grabs; big bonus was the BF also won his seat so there will be no sulking or huffy door slamming :)

Nasty beat early on for my first set of chips, dunno whether it was my fault for raising with 46? Hadn't raised at all as was a very limp table, all of whom didn't fold to a raise and I hadn't seen any hands that were worth a Cbet on the flop with 5/6 limpers holding anything from a raggy ace to 22. Started with 4k and I i'd lost probably 1k of it through blinds and a couple of mediocre hands that did nothing. 2 limpers in front and I'm in late position with 46 hearts - it just looked at me and winked. Figured I could make a stand with it anyway so raised it up, called by the button and SB but the 2 limpers folded, then the flop came - 4.. K... 4...

It must have been a full premonition moment - raise with this shite and you will flop trips along with a big card that one of your callers will be holding. The flop was flushing so I bet straight out, giving it some shite line about " I'm making a really weak bet here guys cos I'm really very strong, but trying to disguise it" Cue all table laughing except Sal who knows I'm telling the truth and either have kk in the hole or a 4, played me too many times!

The button folds but the SB calls. Now I'm sure this fella doesnt have a 4, he isnt that kind of player. He's limped in with KK and JJ and he's not an aggressive player at all, and not a chaser - I can safely assume he has a King.

Turn comes, I sit for a minute then push my chips over the line saying "you didn't think I was gonna bet any less did you and let you catch your diamond? You can't call that mate, not with only one card left to come, it's not worth the chase" It pressed his buttons exactly like I intended, he assumed his K was good and called. He turned over Kojak, and I flicked over my 46. His face was a picture. ( A bit like a picture of a tomato and raisin pizza in all honesty, he had an acne issue going on) He hadn't for a second placed me as the kind of player who could raise with this shite, he said he thought I had a smaller pair (Than Kings) so when I guffed about the flush draw he figured he was good. Yep, that's exactly what I aimed for. I didn't aim for a King on the river however.

So he took my chips with his rivered bigger full house. I took a moment to reflect, which involved going outside for 42 cigarettes in 3 minutes plus a quick headbutt to the wall.

Threw probably half my next stack away on semi tilt after that, so went and smoked another year off my life, calmed down and came back and just sat. and sat, and sat , and sat until the blinds were a bit bigger and I had regained such a solid image that I could steal a few hands till I had more chips. Got moved table, mananged to double up twice with pictures and steal a few blinds with pretty poor rag aces, til I scaped up to 20k, we were hand for hand for a bit then bang, final table.

Think it was about 50 odd players, paying 4 seats worth £550 each, so final table was a bit horrible, knowing you all got there but 6 were gonna be close but no cigar. No way was that going to be. So I made few hero folds (!) invented a new phrase about limp equity (I'm saving it for my book...) and reraised all in every time the guy to my right raised. He was placed between the BF and me, so once he found we didnt get involved in any pots together, for obvious reasons, he figured he could raise every time I was in the SB or BB, but he had a massive tell I had noticed from playing him all night to let me know whether he had a hand he liked or if he was just at it. Anyway, I ended up as chip leader, took out a couple of guys, then eventually took out the bubble - the seat was mine!

Suppose the main point here about my game was once again I wasnt seeing cards, which 6 months ago would have prevented me from getting past level 5, but it's something I now have my head round, and it doesn't stop me trying to win. I'm really pleased with how my game is developing - I dont pretend to be any kind of pro, but I do know I can pick up a few tells that allow me to make the right play, I can play a short stack very well now whereas that previously was a massive stumbling block for me, and I have finally found patience. Just on the poker table that is, don't think I've morphed into Mother Teresa.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

i is happily pissed :)

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

three seats left for tonight's satellite

Holding a 10 seater satellite tonight at the pub, £50 +5 with one rebuy or addon. 5k start stack, 30 min blinds throughout. Familiar faces to anyone in the North west area, ANDOS, Big Jimmy, Nick "windy" miller :) Karl Stokes etc.
Promises to be a good game, we have a dealer plus free soft drinks, if you fancy a try give me a shout on 07703 879875, starts around 8.30pm

Monday, January 19, 2009

Finally broke my duck at Leos, Liverpool

I mentioned before how I have never cashed in Leo's casino, Liverpool, until I got to the final table at the Gala Poker Tour a few months ago. In my head it still didn't count as it wasn't against Liverpool players! Anyway, fresh from my success last Wednesday at the Circus, albeit only a small cash, I played the £50 FO at Leos on Friday night and won!

Went to the final table second shortest stack with only one move, managed to steal a couple of times and then took someone out with aq against his a4 (what a refreshing change!) till I was chip leader. Eventually we did a deal with all the remaining 7 players taking £400 and me getting £595. Apart from being happy with the cash boost, I was thrilled that I finally conquered a final table in a casino where I have previously failed to win. There was no big winning formula with my game, which was in fact far too loose at first, which ultimately meant I had to tighten right up in order to stay in. Every hand I had, which were few and far between, stood up for a change and the only bad beat I delivered was all in preflop from the cutoff with AQs against the BB AK, when I hit a flush.

Me and the BF had a rare night off together on Saturday so popped over to the Manchester G to play a bit of cash where I did my nuts in on the PL Holdem main table, outdraw after outdraw, stepped back down later to the NL feeder table and managed to claw back a large chunk of it. Sunday we were playing in Stoke at a charity poker team tourny where I met Paul Jackson, who seemed not only a decent bloke but a bit of a good laugh as well. Can't tell you how he got on as I was out after an hour :( and heading down the M6 for a cash game at Southport.

All in all a great weekend and nice to get a break from the pub for a bit, even nicer to start the week with a boost to your bankroll from the weekend's play.

Busted for good....

Poker is a great leveller in that ten players sat round a table are all equal on a social level. Whether they are an academic, or left school early with just a clip round the ear to show for it, whether they are a company director or signing on, it doesn't apply once the cards are dealt. I'm friendly with people through poker whom I wouldn't have ever met if I didn't play - I met my partner through the game and as he lived in Wales back then, it's unlikely we would have got together any other way.

So, when you make poker buddies, their "day job" or their background is never an issue. I have a number of poker buddies who I'm aware make their money from "careers" that are not strictly legal; however, while I'm not burying my head in the sand, their source of income is none of my business, and is certainly not relevant to a friendship that begins and ends in the casino.

I mention this because I heard some bad news this week. A young lad who I have known for a couple of years was arrested last week and won't be around for some time now, due to the nature of the offence. I'm a big believer in those who live by the sword die by the sword etc but I can't help feeling it is such a waste. I have played the same circuit as him for a couple of years and watched as his game turned round from amateur bluffing faciliatated by his deep pockets and replenishable income, to a strong, aggressive tournament game that saw him cash in GUKPT events and similar over the past year.

The lad and his girlfriend were both arrested at the same time, which resulted in their young baby being put immediately into care. This has genuinely sickened me. While him and his missus made their decisions as to which way they wanted their lifestyle to go, and did what they needed to in order to finance that, how could they risk their own child's future happiness? I'm trying to not be judgemental over this I really am, but when I think of this toddler in care because of their stupidity I'm gutted.

Obviously they must be gutted more than anyone else, they've lost their freedom, all of their assets will be taken off them, and of course, the worst thing must be knowing their baby is with social services through their own actions. I know there's that old cliche about doing the crime and doing the time, but the baby is the innocent party in all of this, yet the baby's life is now as fucked up as it's parents, before it even made it to school.

Have thought long and hard about whether I should even be posting this, but it's a poker blog about my poker experiences, so it's on here. Just a complete waste, ultimately for nothing.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Internet hand played out live ... :)

Final tabled at the Circus last night, mainly due to this hand...


Last hand before the break of a £30 + £30 semi freezeout. UTG who hasn't played a hand for ever and hasn't stopped talking about how bad his cards are limps in silently while hyperventilating. I find AJ offsut on the button with 4 limpers inbetween me and him and say "Have you finally found a hand or are you just hoping to see a cheap flop?" He goes bright red and replies in a squeeky voice, "Me? on no I just want to see a flop", as his face slowly turns purple with the effort of trying to breathe. So I say I'll raise to see where I am, which I do - raising from 200 to 1200. (I have about 9 or 10k, he has about 6 but there are 4 others inbetween so I want themout for a start, and if he reraises I'm happy to fold. What I don't want is to hit a J high flop and find I'm behind to a bigger pair without asking the question preflop first. (Just so you know my thinking here and don't assume I see aj off as a monster hand)


Well before the chips have hit the felt, the guy in the BB has practically shouted RERAISE. This guy has suddenly found a pair of balls under his rolls of lard and looks me in the eye (only possible as we were sitting down - he would have needed a box otherwise) and says "I guess I'll have to reraise you to find out where I am and raises it 1200 with another 2k. I say "so you obviously have a big pair then" and he says, what like Kings? yes mate, exactly like Kings.


The UTG, who we had both forgotten about, stands up and throws his chips in while giving it the bullshit about o well I know I'm behind - roughly translated as please please call me I'm massive.

His reraise is less than the BB's reraise, another 1200 to put him all in.

Now obviously I know my AJ is far behind I need a miracle, but there's now nearly 10k in the pot and I have to put in 3200 to see the flop, making it about 13k altogether in the middle, so I have to call, much as I know I'm behind and really don't believe i have a chance of taking this down.


So I reluctantly call and like the bitch I am, say to the BB (who is a bit of a novice) "Now you wouldn't do anything stupid here like bet a dry side pot would you?" Everyone's laughing cos firstly he doesn't know what I mean, plus everyone knows I'm behind and really need to catch something here, so they know I want to get to a river for nothing.


The flop comes Q K 10 - I flop the nuts, and it's rainbow just as a bonus. BB checks and the biatch says "You really think I'm gonna let you catch up on that flop?" and threw a handfull of chips in - BB sitting on his set of kings like it's a cushion made of gold can't get his chips in fast enough to reraise me all in, which I obviously call. UTG turns over his cards to show his Aces, BB shows his set of kings and I flip over my shitty AJ which has blossomed into a beatiful straight and overtaken the monsters like Seabiscuit on speed. The turn comes an Ace to give the UTG a set of aces, leaving him calling for the board to pair while I'm screaming "2 2 2 2 2 2 I need a 2!!!" and it comes.. a lovely non-scary 2!


So I went into the break with about 28k when the average was around 8k which definitely got me to the final table without much more effort required, which was lucky as I couldn't catch a hand or a flop after the break. Went out 9th when I ran my AK shortstack into AA but you can't ask for miracles too many times can you?!


Just an aside about the Liverpool Circus. Paul who runs the card room does a very good job and actually seems to want to build up a proper card room, unlike so many other cardroom managers who just go to work to pick up their wages and brownnose thebosses - prime examples being Blackpool G and Manchester G. I've never been a fan of Stanley - possibly because I was barred from two of them :) Southport admittedly my own fault for scrapping but Stoke a complete travesty and a long story that seems pointless dredging up again now after two years - anyway I digress.. Point being, Paul has restored my faith in Stanley, he works hard and seems to be very proactive so I hope his bosses realise that. If you get the chance to support him by playing there please do so.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Have you missed me? :)

Wow feel so out of touch with the poker world! Moved house and job to a new pub and have been working our asses off just to get through Christmas & New Year - worst time ever to come into a new pub in some ways. We had the delightful job of getting a rota of 180 hours down to under 80 so we've been working pretty much every day and night and I won't pretend it's all been fun.

Then we had the added bonus of no internet here so reliant on a 3G dongle: 3G coverage in Aughton is seemingly non-existent. Apparently a neighbour tried to upgrade his dial up to broadband and they told him it wasn't available in this area - surely this can't be true?! Maybe they just didn't want him to have faster net access in case he shipped over a russian bride or similar - they don't take well to strangers round these hereparts - all a bit American werewolf in London. However - they couldn't resist me (how could they?!) and we've pulled the pub up from 3.5k a week to more than double that in just 5 weeks, so we must be doing something right. (I think just opening the doors has helped - the previous guy was a bit hit and miss by all accounts).

So when I have had a window - well more of a skylight - to play a little poker online I have had to stick to sit and gos cos the connection is liable to go off at any point during your game, but usually only when you have a big hand and are about to make your move. Or when you get to heads up - that's a bonus when you finally get back on after a 15 minute battle to find you've been blinded away.

I got out twice to play live, both times at the Liverpool Circus as it's the nearest place, plus they do run a good game there. Cashed once, think I was 7th for £150 (£30 buy in) second time crashed out with 3 tables left (99 runners) and played cash, spectacularly uneventfully. Decided to leave when I raised in SB with aces, all limpers folded round as I hadn't played a hand for about 3 centuries and had only raised previously with JJ, 10s and 78 (what?!), folded till we reached college boy who said - and I quote - okay darlin I'll dance with you.

I shit you not. "Ok Darlin I'll dance with you?" I have no knowledge of how he can translate "Raise" into hey scarf wearing goofy frat boy please call me with 93 off and we can tango round a flop of 955 together?

Don't need to tell you how I reraised his pot bet all in and he called only to hit the 9 on the turn. These may well be the calls YOU want, but me - I'm happy with a fold there, either pre or on the flop.

I'm off tues and weds this week so hoping to get out for a game somewhere - any suggestions? Within an hour's drive pls from L39 postcode - Manchester, Blackpool, Liverpool all easily reached but must be dealer dealt and with loads of fish as long as they are good enough fishies to fold on the flop if there is any chance of outdrawing me :)

Say hello if you drop by please, I'd like to think I'm not completely out of touch :( x