This made me giggle at Blackpool last week.
I was out in the smoking cage when The Mole (above) looked up at me - he's about 4'2" - and said "bloody hell you're tall". Nothing like stating the obvious. He then asked the predictable next question that everyone does - how tall are you anyway, you must be 6 foot?
To which I give the standard reply of "No, I'm only 5'12".
The best bit is, he doesn't get that, but all of his mates/onlookers do, so they're all giggling while he thinks about it for a minute. He knows he's missed something but he's not sure what, but then again I reckon a lot goes over his head :)
His (much taller) mate Brain Martin turns to me and says " I've got three inches on you" - the obvious reply here for me was you put your three inches anywhere near me and I call the police.
Of course although everyone else was fallin about laughing Brian actually blushed and looked mortified. (whether I struck a nerve who knows) I spoke to him more over the next couple of days and he was actually a very quiet very nice guy, so Brian - I'm sorry. I'm sorry you have three inch penis. :)