Biatch is back mofos

I'm allowed access all areas again! Not sure what went wrong but i'm not getting bounced off blogger anymore - I think my limited access was directionally proportional to how badly I was playing. Actually, having donked off plenty last night, perhaps it was inversely proportional?
Either way, the biatch is back.

Nice write up from Steve Holden, following a road trip to Spain hopefully the link should be here http://steveholdenpoker.blogspot.com/ Scroll down to October 4th and enjoy :(

In my defence, I didn't drink 80% of the wine. It was probably only about 76%. Try and keep to the facts Steve please.

So - updates? Online poker is not for me. Admittedly Ive known this for a long time but it took a while to stick the hand in the air and say "My name is caroline and I am a donk online". Done abou $10k on OH (wtf?!) and worked out since january I've won about 18k live yet I'm about 2k up. That's scary.

Live is laughing! Had a few nice results in decent comps but mainly raking it in from cash games. Problem with this is I have lost all elements of tourny play, so patience levels are totally non existent. I've won two seats recently, one for a side event at the RPO festival at the end of the month in Liverpool, and one for the Blackpool leg of the GUKPT so really need to get my head round playing them.

The GUKPT satellite was a beauty. $50 RB Blue Sq - no rebuy (wtf?!) and I owned my table from the first hand. The gobshite was in full effect as I verbally destroyed every one of them without having to go to showdown for the first 90 minutes. Which was lucky as in most instances all I had was my mouth. Railbirds were all over the place - my FB was battered with abuse and plenty of lols afterwards.

Noticed one guy seemed pretty busy, loads of check raising (yawn) and 3 betting (whatever that is) so decided to try raising his BB with 47h to check out his response for when I did eventually get a hand. Raised in early position (yeah I know) folded round to him, he called - not a shock. Flop was K high, all spades, but I had made a pair with my 4. He checked, I bet. He min raised, I flat called. He checked turn (previously anyone who then bet turn got put all in by him) I checked. River another spade. He sat for ever then bet pot. Rightly or wrongly his play said to me he has not got the nuts - every time he had anything he wanted paying, so the bets were small, the steals were pot sized. So, I reraised him - he passed. I showed my 47 of hearts.

Cue - lols from table. Cue - abuse from BB player along the lines of "you think you're clever, you'll get caught soon enough. I can wait" So I gave it right back to him, along the lines of you'll be waiting a long time to get clever enough to beat me, and i may have mentioned to him that I deliberately raised his BB to see what he did as I had noticed he seemed to be a busy chap.

I then got this classic line - Do you know who I am?

Well - in short - No.

I didn't ask him to clarify but he felt the need to go ahead and tell me anyway - I am David La Ronde - remember that name.

I 'll be honest here and admit I did do a little wee.

After I stopped laughing I remembered I had played him at Manchester GUKPT and watched him donk off his monster stack in about 3 hands to players who had got his number. So I kept pressing his buttons, giving it loads about how I remembered him already as his wasn't the kind of face you forget in a hurry etc, and the bigger they are the harder they fall etc.

So a couple of hands later I have AA in BB (mbn to run so good hey) and of course I start giving it out to him to leave my blind alone, it's not big and it's not clever to steal etc. Of course he raises so I sit on and eventually min raise him back fully expecting him to push all in. Bear in mind at this point me and him are the only players with chips - I have him covered.

Davey boy doesn't let me down - he goes allin with his rag ace and I'm ashamed to admit I fully hollywooded it and let the clock wind right down then called. Bye bye David La Ronde and thanks for all the fish. Remember my name. PMSL.

Don't think I needed to play a hand after that, but I did :) Ended up heads up with me and Dara, flopped trips and bet out, he didnt believe me (o but why Dara?!) and called, I banged it in on turn, he called, I won.

If I can play like that in the actual event I will win it. Unfortunately I will also get my head kicked in outside by ppl like Davey boy, Barry Neville and Mick McCool. Heavy weights in every way. Still, I can mop up my tears with the money so probably not altogether a bad result.

Aah it's good to be back.