in the beginning....

I was asked tonight, just before I crashed out of a tourny in my usual inimitable style, had I a blog. I didn't - but I do now! It's been a long time in the making: 40 yrs give or take, but as I am the funniest woman this side of Watford, possibly, I thought I should share my scintilating poker stories with my poker buddies. And anyone else lucky enough to know me.

I've been playing poker very badly for about 3 years now, and playing moderately good poker for about the past year, allowing for the moon and my menstrual cycle of course. When I first started I truly believed I was the dog's gonads and had no concept of anything better out there than my top pair. The only thing that stopped me going broke early on was the ability to outalk anyone in the hand, as well as a very long pair of legs. If all else failed I found leaning over the table in a short skirt usually diverted attention long enough for me to plan my next move. If that failed, I'd take my knickers off in the loo and try again. I had to stop that when we played at Rileys Snooker Hall and someone attempted to pot the brown.

My other great strength, as well as my mouth, is the ability to build a monstrous stack early on and donk it all off in 3 hands once the blinds get serious. Playing tight is so rarely an option that when I tried to join Rock Poker online I was refused on the grounds Trading Standards may sue. If I don't play every hand people prod me to see if I'm awake. I'm also very good at talking people into calling when I want them to fold and vice versa, which is possibly something I need to look at.
Anyway, enough about me - let's have some more about me.